Category Archives: Philosophy

My Kids Dont Want to Stay with Me

I came home from work one night and sat down to dinner with the family.  Usual chaos, flying food, giggles, and squeals.

My wife promptly informed me that she would like to run to the store and do some shopping before the stores close.  I have no problem with this, I have the troops on a regimented bedtime routine and should be able to clean the monsters up and march them straight to bed with maybe a little prebedtime rasslin match.  No problem.

So she stands, rapidly grabs her purse and bolts for the door.  At which point my 7yr old proclaims, “your leaving us with HIM??!! Really?!”

I wasn’t sure how to take this.

The more I thought about it, the more it was clear.  It is a typical good cop, bad cop scenario in our house.  Most nights, I start calling for them to get ready for bed and they typically scurry in the general direction of mom.  I say general, because kids have no concept of straight lines unless cookies are involved.  Mom, of course cuddles and coos with them, the kids stall, I push further to start getting ready for bed and they scatter again.  However, I tend to find them again  back at mom.  Mom, of course tells them to get ready for bed, but somehow lacks the real “umph” of commitment and she cant resist the many child stall tactics of, “im thirsty”, “read us another story”, “can we cuddle”, and “I gotta cocka!”

I on the other hand tend to be the enforcer, ultimately I drag them to bed against repeated objections giving them the, “life’s not fair” speech.

It was clear, without momma around the kids would have much fewer viable stall tactics.

Maybe, I’m a little to harsh.  So I decided to use this opportunity to “soften” my image.

I gave into several of their stall tactics and even spent extra time doing one of their favorite nighttime activities, rasslin.  I sang them a song and then put them to bed.  It was a good night and we were all feeling close and loving.

As I turned out the light, the same 7yr old who had exclaimed worry about being left with me, quietly asked, “daddy, when is mommy coming home?  I want to cuddle.”

“Son, I can cuddle with you.”

“But Daddy your hard and spiky.”  He then laughed and said he was kidding…. but deep down, I don’t think he was.

No matter how “soft” i ever try to be.  I will never be mommy.

Thank goodness I don’t have to be.


Mommy, You Said That Five “Soons” Ago! How Many More “Soons?”

My 4yr olds response when Mommy answered his “When are we leaving” question for the tenth time.

Now, he just cuts straight to the chase and asks, “How many Soons until we leave?”

The anticipations and sense of time of a child is an amazing thing.  My dad once taught me that children were the best negotiators.  They have what it takes.  Will and TIME.  These fluttering minds bouncing from thought to thought and subject to subject often seem chaotic and with no attention span, but don’t be fooled.  Once locked in, the child’s mind has deadly laser focus and devastating power of deployment.  Once they set their mind to the negotiation, they have nothing but time on their side and constant will.  You can say “no” ten thousand times yet a child only sees an opportunity to restate or re-purpose their request once again.

Here is where parent’s steely resolve is tested.  Remember, if you say no 10,000 times and cave to the child’s request on the 10,001st time.  You have only taught them that they have to ask 10,001 times, and that certainly is no problem for them.

Ultimately we parents will lose to these negotiation masters, but hopefully will hold fast when it comes to the critical battles that teach our children character and truth about our world.  Allowing them enough success for good self esteem without allowing them to run a foul without any sense of boundary or rule.

I personally want my children to push boundaries and bend the rules, but they have to firmly know the boundaries and rules as well as the consequences before this can be successfully done.

Now… I have to stop this post.  The 7yr old has asked to use the computer 20 times since I started typing and I cant hold out any further.


As Some try to Capitalize on the Terrible

I’m sick to my stomach. As any decent human being would be at the cowardly assault on children.

But I’m mad at the despicable onslaught of people trying to capitalize on the issue.

the Media: for selling commercials. They should donate every penny they have made selling commercials for the past week to the people of Newtown.

Politicians: for seizing on the issue to push their agendas. Once again calling for covenants and restrictions that would likely have very little effect on criminals and would only serve to give the “illusion” of safety.

And anyone else who has even remotely profited from the fear and anxiety caused by this horrible act.

If you want a political response, how about this.
Bless our Teachers!
If any “major changes” should occur as a result of this, it should be how we treat our teachers and schools!
Instead of “beefing up security” or “putting guns in schools” or “taking guns away from everyone”, why don’t we start with praising the amazing and selfless sacrifice, love, and passion that was shown by these amazing adults in the face or pure evil.
Where are the politicians calling for a huge boost in education funding and teacher pay as a results of the remarkable job they do!?!?

you want to honor the children, then let’s EDUCATE THEM!!!


Let’s Talk About Your “Rights”…

Nothing gets me more in a tizzy than to hear politician say, “it’s your right” or “you deserve. ”

We have so many problems and issues in our country.  Problems that are not new or somehow unique to our country or even our particular generation.  What is unique however is our social dialogue.  No time in the history of man have we been more connected and more free to speak our mind.  A freedom that I fear is wasted by most and is incessantly driven by a mindless and commercially driven media.  In a world that is FULL of EASILY AVAILABLE information, yet we are still horribly ignorant and still allow a few loud and verbose among us to tell us what to think.

Well, I would like a chance to move thought a little.

“Rights” is where I think we have to start.  Our society has spiraled into relative chaos due to this simple but contentious concept.  Rights, as described by our forefathers, started simply.  Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  They knew that true Rights are rare, small but highly treasured things.  The basic belief that humans control their own destiny and must be allowed the opportunity to pursue that destiny.  Without outside interference whenever possible.  Those simple Rights are the cornerstone of our great nation and must be protected.  Problem is,  recently we decided to expand those “rights.”

Creating one after another (through social dialogue) rights that we “deserve” and are “owed” by society.  This was with the noblest of intentions but has led to a degenerate society.  One question epitomizes the issue, “What happens when your Rights, conflict with my Rights?”

The definition of Right should never allow this to happen because a Right should be self determined.  If a Right is infringing on another person, then it is no longer a Right, it’s a privilege.

I will offer this definition to simplify Rights: anything you can have or do that does not require another living soul to have or accomplish.

If it requires another person, for any reason, then it can not be considered a Right.  It has required that living soul to give (even the smallest amount) then it is a gift, therefore a privilege.

If you are honest with yourself, you will see that it is almost impossible to claim many of our so called Rights, as true Rights.  The late great George Carlin said it best, “There are no such things as Rights, just temporary privileges.”  He also said,” it’s only a Right until it is inconvenient for the government.”  So True.

So if I could have one dream.  One wish, it would be that we would change our national dialogue of “our Rights” and what we “deserve.”  Instead, could we please talk about what privileges we as a nation want?

Talk of Rights is full of selfishness.  As the most powerful, wealthy , and advanced country in the world…. What privileges would we want for each other?  We want good roads, police, and fire fighters (as someone who has traveled to the 3rd world, these are defiantly privileges) so we are willing to pay for it.  We want social welfare and medical care for our elderly, and so, we REALLY pay for it.  We have decided we want the biggest, baddest army in the world, and boy do we ever pay for it.  We even once wanted to be the first nation to the moon, we payed for it and then celebrated and shared in the privilege that showed our strength and determination to the world.

Accept it folks.  We have very few Rights.  Almost none.  But, we have more opportunity than almost anyone else in the entire world…. please let us not squander it.

We must look long and hard at ourselves and decide what privileges we want and what we are willing to pay for.  The pot of gold is not infinite but it is huge and if managed well, could give us (and does give us) privileges beyond our wildest dreams.

We must earn privileges. We must all contribute and work to make our country great so that we can enjoy even more privileges.  The Rights you think you deserve, just don’t exist.

The world and society owes us nothing but the opportunity to succeed, it is up to us to take this privilege and be thankful for it.